One word: MIDTERMS.

It's been approximately two weeks since my last post and I'm reallyy sorry about that. I've just been completely out of it [if you don't know why, read two posts back]. And to add on to THAT crap, midterms were this past week and I was just about ready to blow my brains outt by the time Friday finally rolled around. I honestly at one point had gotten no more than three hours of sleep in two days because I was spending so much time studying. I was a mess. And obviously I had no time to blog, but I do now so..YAY ! hah

So...exboyfriend still won't talk to me. Apparently, he thinks this is going to help our friendship in the long run?? Well, that's what my friend Kevin said Ryan told him...which I think is bullshit. I think he just doesn't care. At all. Never has, never will. The thing is, I care so much, and I still do even though he's hurting me so much. It's so messed up and he's handling this the complete wrong way. Guh..maybe he cares a little...because he apparently asked my friend Maddee if I was mad at him and stuff I guess? Well, OBVIOUSLY I'm not very pleased. I understand the breakup..kinda...but the not talking to me thing after he had said to me (NOT ME TO HIM BUT HIM TO ME) that he still really wanted to be friends and whatnot. Does that make sense? At all? If this is his way of dealing with the breakup then what the hell? Why does he get to deal with it in his way, and I just have to go along with it and not move on the way I normally would? I want to TALK about things, I want to know what happened, what went wrong, what I did wrong, all that stuff. I'm left with so many unanswered questions, and I hate being left to wonder.

Okay, I'm really, really, ridiculously sorry about the stupidity of my past blogs. Actually, all of them. I am a very venty, ranty person [if either of those are adjectives...] I don't expect people to actually read these and follow my blog, except for some of my very close friends who have, I don't know why, decided to put up with my stupid teenageness. Probably because they're also teenagers...but that's beside the point.

Anywho, moving on. This weekend was FAAABULOUSS !! Friday night, bonded with the family, whatever, not that important. Saturday night, I went to dear Zac's house with Diana, Josh, KFitz, Zoie, and Sarahh and we had a BLAST. Then KFitz slept over my house and this morning [sunday] we walked to Zac's house and had vegan coconut-chocolate chip pancakes and they were, surprisingly, really good ! And we had a happy day of happy awesomeness and I was happy ! Until...I went on Facebook/MySpace and I don't know...I swear to god I'm bipolar or SOMETHING because I can be the happiest person one minute and then the next I'm sitting in a corner and I won't talk to or look at anybody. I want to talk to my mom about it, because I really think I need to be medicated or something, but I think she'll just tell me I'm being foolish and stuff. Or she'll make me go to a shrink or something which is NOT what I want to do. ha I love how I go from pancakes to psychiatry...it's grrrrreat.

Next topic. LAURENNN ZONI IS MY LIFE ! I love her so much. She is my favorite freshman ! Well, my favorite freshman girl anyway. She's so fantastic, and I can talk to her about anything :D And we're writing a book together !!!

Two more people I've gotten close to this year that I love to pieces? Maddee and Chelsea ! I knew Maddee last year because of volleyball, but we really got close this year and I adore her, she's so wonderful and she's so funny and an all-around awesome person. And Chelsea....oh my god CHELSEA. I met her because of Ryan, and she has quickly become one of my FAVORITE people. We talk about the craziest stuff haha. Both of them are helping me so much and making me feel so much better. I love them both so so so so much, I don't know what I would do without them :) They have quickly become two of my best friends <3

So yeah..that's about it for now because my hands are starting to hurt from typing for the past 2093840934 hours :D I'm calling this one DONE SON. And yeah...I'll probably think of something later that I wanted to write about on here but oh well, I'll save that for the next one !

Bye loves !